1
00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:16,599
Dale, you've been staring
at that Rolo lava cake for 20 minutes.
2
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,601
- This isn't a library.
- I got it.
3
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:23,440
- Three packets, sugar in the raw.
- That's how I like my sugar... raw.
4
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,774
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
5
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,861
This has been a wonderful
plutonic exchange.
6
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,571
I will see you next week.
7
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,495
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Come on.
8
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,003
Where are we going?
Only weirdos live down here.
9
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,880
Just a little further.
10
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,799
Last one in's a rotten Skittle.
11
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,469
Whoo!
12
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,265
Wait, is it safe down here?
13
00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,477
- Why, are you afraid of tiny sharks?
- Ahhh!
14
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,605
Mark! God, you jerk!
15
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,732
- Don't do that.
- Ow!
16
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,734
- You okay?
- Yeah. I just felt...
17
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,235
(SCREAMS)
18
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:10,361
Allie!
19
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,283
Oh, my God. Allie.
20
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,952
No, no!
21
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,250
KORVO: Everybody buckled in?
22
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,794
- You bet!
- Shut the fuck up.
23
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,088
I have a brief kick ass speech to make.
24
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,672
The ship is repaired again,
25
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,259
and we are finally able to leave
this M-class hellhole for good.
26
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,095
- Thank you.
- We did this last year.
27
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,973
"Blah, blah, blah, Earth sucks,
sci fi, sci-fi we're leaving."
28
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,642
Change the channel. This sucks.
29
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,895
This shit's happening.
Aisha, activate pre-launch sequence now.
30
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:46,689
First off, who do you think
you're talking to with that tone?
31
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,650
Second, activated.
32
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:51,111
Talking about "now". Bitch.
33
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,030
This is a momentous day
for all of us, but mostly for me,
34
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,116
'cause I am mission leader
and did all the work
35
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,076
while you guys totally shat the bed.
36
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,662
Launch aborted.
Some crew are not on board.
37
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,957
What are you talking about?
We're all buckled in and... Oh!
38
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,042
Yeah, Korvo!
39
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,336
Damn it. I always fall for the Talkboy.
40
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:13,133
Ha! You got Shawshanked,
Ferris Bueller'd and Ghallagered.
41
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,592
- (AISHA LAUGHS)
- (GRUNTS)
42
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,428
- Yeah.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
43
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:18,930
Infinite Slip N Slide?
44
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,599
You know I can't launch the ship
unless you guys are on.
45
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:25,270
No! My foot! It's dissolved into goo.
Why don't you care?
46
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,730
Look at me.
Stop having fun. I'm melting.
47
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,567
This is what we're doing today,
figuring this out. Stop!
48
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:35,488
KORVO: Planet Shlorp was
a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit.
49
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,241
One hundred adults and their replicants
50
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,952
were issued a Pupa
and escaped into the space,
51
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,413
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
52
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,875
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
53
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,459
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
54
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:49,919
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
55
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,504
My name's Korvo. This is my show.
56
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,464
I just dropped the Pupa.
Do you see me?
57
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,342
This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth! It's a horrible home.
58
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,760
People are stupid and confusing.
59
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,054
They're always ordering
these complicated coffee drinks.
60
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,223
Why would you ever have coffee
when you could just ingest
61
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,309
a room temperature tan colored
energon cone?
62
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,269
Don't talk to me
until I've had my tan cone.
63
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,819
Do you want me to drain your bucket?
64
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,196
That's still me in there.
65
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,990
- And yes, I know it smells like shit.
- Hi. Sorry for the wait.
66
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,951
Prom season. Tons of abortions today.
Busy, busy, busy.
67
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,703
Before I give you our diagnosis,
68
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,289
are you certain you don't have
any alien technology
69
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,082
that's better to evaluate this?
70
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,085
We decided to change it up.
We go to the ship with problems a lot.
71
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,253
A lot.
72
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,297
Well, they don't exactly teach alien goo
73
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,382
in medical school,
but I found some articles
74
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,468
about dog herpes that seemed to line up.
75
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,137
Korvo, you have what we call Alpha DNA.
76
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,849
The building blocks of your cells
have receptors that are only activated
77
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,935
if the pack are fulfilling their roles.
78
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,646
- Wait, are we the pack?
- That doesn't sound right.
79
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,398
Once your team's failure
continues long enough,
80
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,193
the receptors decay,
triggering a "goo sequence"
81
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:59,656
designed to kill you so the next dog
or alien in line can take over.
82
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,492
- Isn't that funny.
- You lazy idiots are killing me.
83
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,910
Luckily, it's reversible,
84
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,914
but only if these dummies do
their respective jobs in a serious way.
85
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,249
What! I can't rely on them.
86
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,292
Fuck that, fill me with chemo.
I want the chemo.
87
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,462
They really don't like us to throw chemo
at family issues.
88
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,924
Okay, I got you set up on the couch here
with plenty of fluids,
89
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,052
- root beer, Sunny D and piss.
- Is the piss hot?
90
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,681
- I want hot piss.
- Gonna get this good and tight,
91
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,891
so none of your stinky goo drips out.
92
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:30,353
Don't think of it as a trash bag.
It's more of a whole body diaper.
93
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:33,773
I know why you fucks are being nice.
You feel bad. Shove it.
94
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,234
Your guilty feelings can't solidify
my legs.
95
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,654
I know this is very unlike me,
96
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,448
but I'm feeling guilty over
melting Korvo with my laziness.
97
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,533
Yeah, me too.
98
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,785
Maybe we should just do
some mission stuff,
99
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,662
just like enough so he can get better.
100
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,123
To piggyback off your pitch
with a slight twist,
101
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,917
what if we let Korvo melt
but also did whatever we wanted?
102
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,170
See, what I like about that is
then we wouldn't have to do our jobs.
103
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,338
Great collab. Terry.
104
00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,300
Guys, we are not letting Korvo
turn to goo.
105
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,176
We should at least
put him out of his misery.
106
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,762
Can someone please refill my piss?
107
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,056
We can't kill Korvo.
Who'd wash my t-shirts?
108
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,892
He does buy all the groceries
and hide all the bodies.
109
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,020
Crap, without him,
we'd have to do the chores.
110
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,730
Let's just do our mission roles more,
111
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,648
but only enough to not have
to take out the trash.
112
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,483
- Easy peasy.
- We've got this.
113
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,403
Do you two even know
what your mission roles are?
114
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,946
- Zero fucking clue.
- No.
115
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,782
Aisha, please explain to the replicants
what their mission roles are.
116
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,285
And you know what? Let's just
run through mine, too, for fun.
117
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,494
In detail, por favor.
118
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,538
Should I just play
the orientation crystals?
119
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,123
Orientation crystals?
120
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,584
Sounds like some shit
we should've watched already.
121
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,754
They were meant to be viewed daily.
Dumbass.
122
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,390
In these first moments of your mission,
remember what is at stake.
123
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,352
- Shlorp is depending on your...
- Boring, boring, boring.
124
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,937
Yumyulack, Protector
and head of security.
125
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,190
You ward off any threats to the mission.
126
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,109
Strong and fierce, willing to die
so the team can live.
127
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,403
Let's put "willing to die" down
as a maybe.
128
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,072
Jesse, the Chronicler. Be observant.
129
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,742
Record your adventures with clarity,
both in triumph and defeat
130
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,370
so future Shlorpians learn
from your mistakes.
131
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,706
I'm like the JK Rowling
of this pack. Crucio!
132
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,625
Terry, your job is most important.
133
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,294
Because the Pupa will grow up
to terraform your new planet,
134
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,504
you must nurture him.
135
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,131
For, as the Pupa specialist,
he is your responsibility.
136
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,759
Hold the fuck on. I'm supposed to be
taking care of the Pupa?
137
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,720
- Korvo says that all the time, Terry.
- This isn't news.
138
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:30,640
I'm not ready to raise a Pupa.
I'm still finding myself.
139
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,225
I want to go to Cabo, damn it.
140
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,268
You want some crackers
to go with your wine?
141
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:37,230
Being responsible is scary,
but it's time to grow up
142
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,149
and start working on the mission.
For Korvo!
143
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,317
BOTH: For Korvo!
144
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,361
(ALL LAUGHING)
145
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,989
- What the hell are you doing?
- Shit! We forgot about the Korvo thing.
146
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,700
Earth is too distracting.
We can't do our jobs here,
147
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,661
with all the trap queens
in need of hyping.
148
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,913
I've got to park that big Mack truck
right in that little garage.
149
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,166
If we're going to focus,
we've got to do it on a new planet.
150
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,628
Good. Aisha, initiate the pre-launch
before these idiots change their minds.
151
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:04,006
- Fine. The shit is initiated.
- Launch time, baby.
152
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,551
- Not all the crew is accounted for.
- Fuckers!
153
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,678
Wait, but everyone's here.
154
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:12,807
All crew means all body parts
that got severed and left around town.
155
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,434
- Wait. What? - Go get your dick.
156
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,269
Anyone been leaving body parts around?
157
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,521
I mean, yeah.
I live a full and rich life.
158
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:22,525
You think my calendar's so open I can
just pick up my own body parts all day?
159
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,609
Wrong.
160
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,486
Don't look at me.
I keep my shit tonight.
161
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,072
Activate the Shlorpian
Extremity Triangulator.
162
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:33,494
It scans the planet for Shlorpian flesh.
Creepy, but perfect for this moment.
163
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,746
I'm clean,
all my pieces are on the ship.
164
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,209
You've been dropping your limbs
all over the place.
165
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,377
Five at Home Depot?
166
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,963
That must have been from the summer
I tried to be a MythBuster.
167
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,175
Those two ginger mummies didn't leave
any myths for the rest of us.
168
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,136
You're supposed to be chronicling
not busting popular myths.
169
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,430
- Oh! My favorite hand.
- We've got to get these body parts
170
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,349
before Korvo is goo for good
or we'll have to learn how to do taxes.
171
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:56,559
It's hella complicated.
172
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,561
Good luck figuring out
the depreciation value
173
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,938
of time traveling sneakers
you only use for business.
174
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,483
Are we just going to leave
the Pupa behind, Terry?
175
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,734
He can't get out of the Pupa seat.
176
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,528
And even if he could,
he'd never stray from his puffs.
177
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,073
(COOING)
178
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,283
(SCOFFS)
179
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:17,788
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)
180
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:24,462
RECORDED VOICE: The cow says...
181
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,047
(MOOING)
182
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:46,817
(CAR LOCK CHIMES)
183
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:55,743
Eddie! Ooh, you're home early.
184
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:58,120
Katie. Baby, Kiss me.
185
00:08:58,287 --> 00:08:59,372
(MOANS SOFTLY)
186
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,291
Get in here.
187
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,962
I still can't believe
it was one year ago
188
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:09,173
to the day you got down on your knee
and gave this to me.
189
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,092
Remember? It was our second date.
190
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,510
I thought you were crazy.
191
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,720
I am. Crazy. For you.
192
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,640
I swore I would never go out
with someone who worked for my dad.
193
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,726
But you're not like his other employees.
You're, you're different.
194
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,978
Ooh, how'd the sales trip go?
195
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:25,106
- Crushed it. Crushed it.
- Daddy will love that.
196
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,818
Means he won't see it coming
when we rob him blind.
197
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,861
- (SNICKERS)
- (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
198
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,160
All right people, I'm gooing pretty bad.
199
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,996
So let's get these limbs and get back
to the business
200
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,039
of leaving this shithole planet.
201
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,045
Bad ice.
202
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,214
Don't ask me how it got there.
203
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,633
Ask them why they never cleaned it.
204
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,557
Hey, my ball... Back scratcher.
205
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,017
Suck it, Cooke.
206
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,401
- You did the right thing,
- So everyone got their body parts?
207
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,529
Almost. We just have to go to
the Windy City to pick up the last two.
208
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,197
You went to Chicago
and didn't invite me?
209
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,866
You know how much I like
the Schaumberg outlets.
210
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:20,620
Last time we wasted all our time waiting
for you at the Hammacher Sclemmer.
211
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,456
Me and Yumyulack have been commuting
to Chi-town
212
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,666
to practice
with the Chicago Pro Tumblers.
213
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,044
They're a legendary
acrobatic halftime show.
214
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,462
I do it to help me stay agile.
215
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,213
Plus, we get to hang with Pippen
when he's around.
216
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,467
He took a tough tumble into each other,
last practice and knocked
217
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,885
our tushes clean off.
218
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,345
Ooh, there they are.
219
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,764
Guys, Jesse and Yumyulack are back.
220
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,266
What's up, Emily?
221
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,726
Alyssa, how you been?
222
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,646
No, Josh and Sophia, what happened?
223
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,814
We snapped ankles warming up
for the semi-regional
224
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,483
halftime show championships.
225
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,901
- What?
- But that's today.
226
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,779
You and Yummy have to sub in
to do the final team tumble.
227
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,322
No, thanks, we're in a time crunch.
228
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,616
MAN OVER PA:
Chicago Pro Tumblers to the floor.
229
00:10:58,616 --> 00:10:59,992
What are you... Don't you put that,
230
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,786
don't you put on
that sweet tumbling gear.
231
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,579
Drop those knee socks right now, mister.
232
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,623
- Hey, I can see you.
- When Tumbling calls,
233
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,999
you accept the charges.
234
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,209
Get back here!
235
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,460
I kind of want to see it.
236
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,670
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
237
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,646
This stupid bullshit really meant a lot
to you two, didn't it?
238
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,524
It's the most satisfying
thing I've done in my life.
239
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,693
Okay, well, then I'm glad we did it,
I guess.
240
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,070
- I still wish I wasn't turning into goo.
- Terry, your turn.
241
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,489
What Turn? Like I said,
I keep my ship tonight.
242
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,324
Don't insult me. I'm not a replicant.
243
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,909
Wow, yes, that's a lot of arms.
244
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:45,454
Dozens tightly clustered over the ocean.
Terry, you stinky shit!
245
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,498
- Did you feed your arms to a whale?
- No.
246
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,501
No. What did I do?
247
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:53,254
- (GASPS) Gladwell.
- What's a Gladwell?
248
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:57,133
Pop sociologist Malcolm Gladwell,
We've been ripping and tearing ass
249
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,884
on the reg for a while now
and every morning
250
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,928
I would chew my arm off
rather than wake him up.
251
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:03,597
Because if I did, we would be chatting
about the human condition all morning.
252
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:04,682
The guy won't shut up.
253
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,893
My arms are somewhere aboard his private
non-fiction yacht, The Shipping Point.
254
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,187
It's an intellectual cruise experience
he runs for his fans.
255
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,857
How would we ever have gotten all that
from you just saying, Gladwell?
256
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,525
Don't be jealous, Korvo.
It doesn't look good.
257
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:17,528
I'm not. A sexual relationship
with an award winning author?
258
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,947
I'm impressed. Best I could swing
was a hand job
259
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,866
from the two guys who keep track
of all the horse names
260
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,576
for George R.R. Martin.
261
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,078
KATIE: Baby, but what about the plan?
262
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:29,081
We were going to wait until that prick
promotes you and then fleece him.
263
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,501
- Tomorrow. Tomorrow. No argue.
- The last flight to Mexico.
264
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,878
So you have to talk to Daddy today.
265
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,588
Be careful.
He has powerful friends, baby.
266
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,047
You got to play this perfectly.
267
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,216
Relax, Relax. It's me.
268
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,970
God, it'll all be worth it
once we're in Zihuantanejo.
269
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,055
Take me again.
270
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,017
God, I love your body so much.
271
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,226
- (MOANING)
- (BED THUMPING)
272
00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:00,279
Excuse us. We're G-O-G,
Guests of Gladwell.
273
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:03,157
- Terry. Should be on your book there.
- Terrence. You look great.
274
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,241
Love the shirt.
275
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,243
- Is that lambswool?
- Glady.
276
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:08,788
You're looking observant as always.
277
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,165
I see you've brought your family.
How lovely.
278
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,584
- Mr. Gladwell...
- Stop. Just Gladwell.
279
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,212
Gladwell, would you sign
my 10,000 hours ray?
280
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,924
It simulates studying for 10,000 hours,
your Outliers book inspired me.
281
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,551
My key insight was that
if you spend a lot of time
282
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,387
on something you can get good at it.
Seems like common knowledge now,
283
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,640
but at the time, it was unheard of.
284
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,268
Yeah, genius Gladwell.
So listen, there's a reason we're here.
285
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,312
Let me guess.
Terrence needs his arms back.
286
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,438
Damn, he's good.
287
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,273
Let's run up to my penthouse
and get them.
288
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,692
In the meantime, do the rest of you
want VIP tickets
289
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,361
to see our in-cruise show,
Malcolm Dragwell?
290
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,322
It's drag queens lip syncing
to audio recordings of my book.
291
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,408
Cool! You guys do that
and I'll be right back with my arms.
292
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,493
Enjoy the show.
293
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,957
Do you remember that
hot air balloon over Portugal?
294
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,544
We made that basket so hot
that the balloon rose an extra 100 feet.
295
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,129
Yes. The summer we screwed
in every type of dirigible.
296
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,048
Remember when you had me
on that zeppelin?
297
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,258
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
298
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,595
I am so nervous to meet
a Malcolm Dragwell Queen.
299
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,597
I'm not dressed for royalty.
300
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,599
I find it hard to believe
there's enough Gladwell demand
301
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,434
to justify a whole Stan culture.
302
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,894
I hope there's stuff
from Blink in the show.
303
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:14,979
I love that book.
304
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:18,148
It's about how sometimes we just know
stuff without having to think or learn.
305
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,400
I feel that way constantly.
306
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,902
Pour me a drink
while I look for your arms.
307
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,071
Make one for yourself, too.
308
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,284
Ah, been a hell of a day. I don't know
if you could tell, but Korvo is melting.
309
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,620
- He's sensitive about it.
- My God. Come, tell me.
310
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,039
Hey, hey, hey. No traps.
311
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,708
I'm not having a drink
or sitting on the bed.
312
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,127
Just give me my... Your hair
is looking zanier than normal.
313
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,920
Are you styling it different?
It's cute.
314
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,840
Still just rubbing a balloon on it
after showering.
315
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,593
What? That's not hair.
Those are my arms.
316
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,636
- What did you do?
- You like them to rot.
317
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,307
I gave them purpose. I gave them life.
They've been writing my books.
318
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,851
Sadly, I've had them so busy scribbling
319
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,769
they've fused into
some kind of rat king.
320
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,062
That's straight up gross.
321
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,273
Now, they're more creative
than ever before.
322
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,942
My latest bestseller,
Thou Who Smelt It Dealt It
323
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,319
was their idea.
324
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,571
You can't force my arms
to write their own fart ideas.
325
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,031
I already have.
326
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:10,326
David Remnick interviewed me
an hour ago. Grab him.
327
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:12,077
(GROANING)
328
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,413
Is this the way to the VIP room?
329
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,290
I'll have a rum and diet
to start, please.
330
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:19,126
Shit! They're going to throw us
into the ocean.
331
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,212
I'm going to get diluted and excreted
through a million disgusting squids.
332
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,173
Did Gladwell sign off on this?
333
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,466
(ALL SCREAMING)
334
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,180
(SCREAMING)
335
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,559
This is how we do it in Chi-raq, biatch!
336
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:38,729
(SCREAMS)
337
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:39,813
Here.
338
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,031
Yeah, bitch. Slip on my stinky goo
and drop to your death.
339
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,116
Now scoop me up into the backpack.
340
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,703
Sales. Always. Big, Big growth.
341
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,122
Profits, up. Money, yes, yes.
342
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,417
(ALL CLAPPING)
343
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,920
Damn, Eddie. How is it
that you're never in the office
344
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,381
and you just crushed my Q2 sales record?
345
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,216
Get on my level. Bro.
346
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:11,011
All right, boys, back to work.
Eddie, stick around for a second.
347
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,014
Now you listen to me,
you son of a bitch.
348
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,893
You might have everyone else fooled,
but I have been onto you since day one.
349
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,603
I knew there was something off
about you.
350
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,146
I couldn't put my finger on it.
351
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,732
But you messed up
when you made a move on my daughter.
352
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,152
I did a background check on you, Eddie.
You know what I found?
353
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,822
Nothing. You are who you say you are.
354
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,991
But that doesn't change
how I feel in my gut.
355
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:36,120
And the only thing I love more than
profits is that little girl of mine.
356
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,873
So, I'm writing you a check
for $10,000,000. It's a bribe.
357
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,125
Get out of Katie's life.
358
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:45,170
Then what do you want?
What's your price?
359
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,218
Are you out of your fucking mind?
360
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:58,559
(REVERSE HORN BEEPING)
361
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:01,979
(PHONE RINGING)
362
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,451
- Ow! Ow!
- Stop hitting yourself, Terrence.
363
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,952
- Cheap joke, Gladwell.
- Yes.
364
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,621
But it was right there
and I think I made my point.
365
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,875
Your arms obey me now.
I say hit you, they hit.
366
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,753
I say write a book, they type up
cherry picked anecdotes
367
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,880
to support my nursery school wisdom.
368
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,175
I'll give you one last chance.
Live with me on the open seas.
369
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:34,386
We'll make love while your arms write
my TED Talks. A perfect life.
370
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,805
If it were up to me,
I'd tap that curly shit all day.
371
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,223
But I've already got a team.
372
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,976
Pity. Consider your point tipped.
373
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,561
(GROANING)
374
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:45,981
No. Terry's arms formed a rat king
and they've sided with Gladwell.
375
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,232
How did you gather that so fast?
376
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,861
Because I'm young and adulthood
hasn't atrophied my imagination.
377
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,112
(GRUNTS)
378
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:55,991
(GROANING)
379
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,826
Stop it. Stop it, Terry's arms.
380
00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,204
Korvo, his arms.
They're listening to you.
381
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,581
I'm their mission leader.
It's their biological imperative.
382
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:06,085
- Terry's arms. Stop being dicks.
- No, Terry's arms. I'm your leader now.
383
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,337
I'm the one who lets you grease me up
before bedtime.
384
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,756
You've never done anything right
in your shoulder-girdled lives.
385
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,217
You're worthless.
But you can change that right now.
386
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,885
Come home with us, Terry's arms.
387
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,429
- Come home.
- No, my career will be over.
388
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,890
Without Terry's arms,
all I'll be able to write
389
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,141
is the erotic Luigi's Mansion fan-fic
390
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,394
that comes to me so naturally.
I can't go back to that.
391
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:27,147
- I won't go back to that.
- (GROWLS)
392
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,566
- Hey, Gladwell. I'm Yumyulack.
- So?
393
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,487
I'm head of mission security
so consider your dumb ass secured.
394
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:34,863
(GROANS)
395
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,408
- What did you do to him?
- He's 10,000 hours stupider.
396
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:41,745
I'm going to go write a novel
about video games and '80's movies.
397
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:42,830
He'll land on his feet.
398
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,791
Oh, man, I wish I had feet.
I'm feeling pretty shitty.
399
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,000
Korvo!
400
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,507
Almost home, buddy.
Think solid. Stay solid.
401
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,591
(GASPS)
402
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,554
(ALL GROAN)
403
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,848
Who was that psycho?
404
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,560
(GROANS)
405
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,868
Hey. Ahhh!
406
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,754
Aisha, launch the ship.
407
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,049
AISHA: All crew members present.
Launch activated.
408
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,387
We're doing it. We're actually leaving!
409
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:47,311
No, no, no, no, no, no. No!
410
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,188
- (ALL SCREAMING)
- KORVO: No!
411
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,857
- What happened? - All ship systems have been compromised
412
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,109
by the heavy levels of iron
in these puffs.
413
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,777
Where did they all come from?
414
00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,741
I guess it was me?
I only remember packing a couple
415
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,659
so the Pupa could have favorite snacks
for the trip.
416
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,912
You were trying to be
a better Pupa specialist.
417
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,288
We can clean this up, Korvo.
418
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,749
You can talk us through the repairs.
419
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,751
Please, I just started chronicling
420
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,629
and I don't want this to be
how my first journal entry ends.
421
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:14,838
Yeah, we can still save you.
422
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,924
No, the puffs have destroyed
the circuits.
423
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,091
The damage is too severe.
424
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,676
You'll have to stay
on Earth permanently.
425
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,304
- What about you?
- I'm afraid it's time for me to goo.
426
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:25,641
I'm sorry I failed you all as leader.
Today, I realized that each of you
427
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,185
has been fulfilling your mission roles
in convoluted ways
428
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,480
because I hadn't created an environment
where my team could thrive.
429
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,148
I should have set down roots on Earth,
430
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,985
found a work life balance instead of
repairing the doggone ship all the time.
431
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,071
- Korvo.
- Goodbye, big guy.
432
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,324
All right, go enjoy your Slip N Slide
and leave me to turn into goo.
433
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,493
That's my final order as mission leader.
434
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,330
AISHA: Damn Korvo.
435
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,999
That's a lot of emotional growth.
436
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,336
And, you know, I could vacuum up
this puff dust in like, two minutes.
437
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,089
- Yes, I am well aware. - So why you lie?
438
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,466
Being on Earth
is what's best for my team
439
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,051
even if it's what's worst for me.
440
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,345
Did you see that? I grew a leg.
441
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,222
Holy shit. Another, another leg.
442
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:08,267
My sacrifice. I was team leader
and my team worked together.
443
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,435
- I'm regaining my form. - It's fucking gross.
444
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,979
Can you do it somewhere else?
445
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:14,439
Guys! Guys, get up here and help me.
I'm getting my body back.
446
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,358
- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Little help up here.
447
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,694
Hello? Stop leaving me to die.
448
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,862
I'm not dying anymore.
I'm thirsty for piss.
449
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:24,366
Ah, finally, back to normal.
Feels good to not be goo anymore.
450
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,369
And did you mean it, Korvo, that you're
going to put down some roots this year?
451
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:29,746
Yes. If the options are turning
into a sack of slime
452
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,749
or learning how to like Earth,
then I guess I'll have to give it a try.
453
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,335
Sounds like the Solar Opposites are
going to be having some fun this year.
454
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:38,714
And the fun will begin right now
as we watch all the Tom Clancy movies
455
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,424
in order, starting with
The Hunt For Red October.
456
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,759
What? No. Those are grown up movies.
Can't we watch John Wick?
457
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,761
No! I'm setting down roots
the way I want.
458
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,888
And that means Jack Ryan
and courtroom dramas.
459
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,599
Sorry, back up.
Which Jack Wick movie are we watching?
460
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:51,310
It's Jack Ryan, dummy. Keep up.
461
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,228
Is this going to be happening
all the time now, Jesse?
462
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,147
You know, I hate repeating myself.
463
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,231
(GROANS)
464
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,316
My hand's cramping.
465
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,650
Well, why don't you use that Tuckboy
466
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,445
you're so keen on tricking me with
and transcribe it later?
467
00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:10,787
I must say, Pupa.
Nothing like a purple puff.
468
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,165
So her old man went for the bargain,
just like we thought.
469
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,249
Yummy.
470
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,543
You're a cold hearted
son of a bitch, Pupa.
471
00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:17,794
Who's our next target?
472
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:21,715
The heir to the Popchips fortune?
Hell, yes. Let's fucking go!
473
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,928
Ma'am, that was final boarding.
I have to close the door.
474
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,848
No! You can't. My fiancé's coming.
475
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,558
(SNIFFS) I know he is.
476
00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:34,227
Yeah. Let me take you to our section
for people who were stood up
477
00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,395
by their loved ones.
478
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,370
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)